Good morning, dear ones. It’s so good to be with you this morning. Good to have you here. Appreciate the worship to this point. It’s been wonderful. Appreciate Brian’s very tender remembrance of fathers who have gone before. I’m always a little reluctant to start naming names because I figure I’ll forget somebody, but you very boldly went ahead and did it and I don’t think you missed anybody. So, that was great. The father’s mandate, that’s what I want to talk to us about this morning.
And I guess you’ll see where I’m going with this as the sermon develops. If you don’t have a bulletin with you already, Steve’s got them and is bringing them around. Just raise your hand. There is a place to keep notes in there and I think that’s helpful of keeping track. I don’t know if you’ve thought about this as an aspect of preaching, but it’s a very real reality for me. The great challenge for preachers is to maintain God’s high standard of conduct that we find in the scriptures while realizing that personally we fall short and we fall short all the time.
And so, it’s a a source of conflict for us to have to uphold God’s standard, but humbly realizing we fail. And I don’t know that there’s any aspect, any message that I would bring to you that would accentuate this more than talking about being a father. That is such a challenging thing. And the older you get, the more you realize you could have done a lot better. But what are your memories of father? Be fun to be able to sit down over a cup of coffee and just visit with you.
I’ve enjoyed getting to know you over the past 10 months or so and I wonder if we were to talk about the times with your father, if you would have memories in the area of these these areas, recreation or teaching or learning or the way he provided or the conversations you had, the love he showed, the his devotion to God, and the correction that he applied sometimes. I imagine that happened to some of us. As I think about that and if we were we to explore it, I think we’d probably find that there are positive and negative memories and there is there’s only one perfect father and look what they did to his son, we sometimes say, but all the rest of us as fathers fall short.
But we also have some moments. I I hope when you think about recreation and the memories of your father, it was a regular thing that you were able to do and that it was enjoyable, it was fun, but there’s a chance that it could have been a rare thing. You just didn’t play with your dad or do anything fun with your dad and when you did it was kind of awkward. And did you ever think that awkward is spelled awkwardly? Is there any other word that has wkw in it?
I don’t think there is. It’s an awkward spelling and an awkward word. So, but when you were learning, were there lasting lessons that were taught um uh in a in a wonderful setting with your father or did your dad not really teach you much? Did he provide for all your needs or did he leave you wanting many things? Did you have caring conversations or were some of those hurtful, just as likely to to leave you hurting instead of feeling edified? Did he love much and express that to you or was there little none or was little or none or was it kind of implied like the the you think of it in the husband-wife situation where the wife complains, “You don’t tell me you love me enough.”
And the husband says, “Well, I said it when we got married. If it changes, I’ll let you know.” It’s not not the best way to communicate that, okay? So, yeah, was it like that? Um devotion to God. Was it Was he regular in his attendance, in his devotion? Every time you open the doors, he was there. And he was also active in all sorts of service throughout the community and to others he found in his life. Or Or was there little or none as far as devotion to God?
Was his correction loving and consistent? Or was it violent and inconsistent? All of those You might maybe have a mix of all of those things as you look back at memories of your father. If your memories are largely positive, this is a day to give thanks for that. And if you can still reach out and and thank a father who has been largely positive in your life, it’d be appropriate to do that today. If it’s negative, then maybe we can talk about that a little bit as we go forth.
But you know, it’s possible also that you don’t really have any memories of dad at all cuz he just wasn’t there. And that leaves its own special kind of a scar. God has things to say to fathers. And of course, not everyone becomes a father. It is not necessary to please God to to become a father. But if we become fathers, by the have that blessing, there’s a mandate that we have. There are things that we’re supposed to do. And the God of all creation has the right to prescribe for us how we should be as fathers if that falls upon us.
And the first aspect of that, the first responsibility, if you will, is to lead. To be a leader in the home. And you got to love Joshua and the way he stood before the children of Israel in their promised land at the end of the promised land that he had lead them led them to conquer. At the time of his departure as it was nearing or the time of his stepping down, he he offered them a choice. The choice that’s very real for all of us even yet today.
He says, “If it’s evil in your eyes to serve the Lord, choose this day who you will serve.” Whether gods your fathers served over the region beyond the river or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you now dwell. There’s all sorts of idols around, pick one. But as for me and for my house, we will serve the Lord. I love going to places and visiting and you you learn a lot about folks when you see their place their their home, but it’s often you’ll find this on the wall somewhere in a home.
A kind of a declaration. Our family intends to serve the Lord. And it’s really the father that that sets that tone. That needs to be the spiritual leader in the family. If mom’s a strong servant of the Lord, that’s a wonderful thing. But the father don’t ever as a father think, “Well, she’s got that religion thing handled. I don’t really need to pay attention to that.” We’re called to be the spiritual head of the household as fathers. The second aspect of being a father and the mandate would be to provide.
The father provides for the household and this is an interesting reference I think to support that. Paul was actually talking about the relationship he had with a congregation there when he said, “Here for the third time I’m ready to come to you and I will not be a burden.” I seek not what is yours, but you. I thought that was a great way to say that. He said, “I’m not after your stuff. I’m after you.” And then he said kind of as being the the the parent over and the congregation being the child, he says, “The general rule Well, the general rule is children are not obligated to save up for their parents, but parents for their children.
It’s parents who provide for the children, not children who provide for the parents.” But we know there’s an exception to that rule. Paul told Timothy, when a when a parent gets to a place where they can’t provide for themselves, then that’s when the family needs to step up and it kind of reverses that. But in general, it’s the the the man who’s providing for the household. That’s kind of a positive implication in that last reference. In this reference, it’s negatively stated and stated pretty clearly.
If anyone does not provide for his relatives, especially for members of his household, he’s denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. That is really strong language that we’re finding there. But he just lays it out plainly, the the responsibility that a father has to provide for the family. If you don’t do that, you’re worse than an unbeliever. So, whatever it takes, fathers are to provide. And that doesn’t mean that the the wife isn’t going to help with that provision.
That the father is the sole provider. And I would take as support for that idea the virtuous woman that we just studied in our Proverbs study, Proverbs chapter 31. When we look at the things that she was doing to support the household, they were significant. They were very real help to the household. But the father is providing providing as well. The third aspect of being a father in the mandate would be to teach. To lead, to provide, and to teach.
Back in Deuteronomy, in the Decalogue, in the statement of in the explanation of the Ten Commandments, “These words that I command you today shall be on your heart, and you shall teach them diligently to your children. You shall talk of them and then all these interesting um Oh, what’s the word? Where you you set them uh next to each other. You talk with them when you sit in your house, when you walk in the way, when you lie down, and when you rise.”
And so, with all of that, you’re just Well, that’s everywhere. Yeah, that’s everywhere. You teach everywhere. And that doesn’t mean again that the mom isn’t going to be teaching. It means that the dad is teaching and the dad is responsible for the teaching. Here’s a troubling one, can be troubling one. It’s interesting that the this prohibition comes up. “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”
It’s very easy for a father to provoke a child to anger, and I think that’s why this prohibition is in there. If the standard to which the child’s being raised is inconsistent, and they’re always guessing what right is, and surprised to find out what wrong is cuz it it’s kind of like hitting a moving target. Don’t have that kind of discipline in your home, and don’t be the kind of father that’s just finding every wrong thing and never mentioning a right thing.
As a father, you want to make sure you you catch them doing good, and uh reward that. Don’t just talk about the things they do wrong. That is exactly how to provoke a child to anger, which is a bad enough thing that Paul felt like he had to reach right out and and and um single that out. So, how to teach, how not to teach. And just in a side as we we pass from third to the fourth item here, meeting our family’s physical needs is necessary. Yes, we provide and yes, we’re the leaders, but God’s standard is higher.
We’ve got to be the spiritual teacher, the spiritual leader as well. And this is a very high standard that God has set for us, but it does not seem to be optional. It seems as though God has set that as a standard for all men who are fathers. And the last thing, and this is similar to some of the ones that have gone before, a father is to correct. And I use this reference in 1 Peter chapter 1 and you might be able to see the text that I’ve highlighted a bit there.
It mentions the futile ways inherited from your forefathers. As I said before, there was only one perfect father and that’s our heavenly father. We as fathers are flawed and chances are our father was flawed and chances are he handed us some things that don’t quite comport with scripture. And so, thinking about the the things that we were handed down that really don’t mesh with what God is teaching, it’s a responsibility for a father to make sure he’s correcting what the family is doing, what the family is believing.
It says here, you were not redeemed with um perishable things, but with the precious blood of Christ like that of a lamb without blemish. You were redeemed from the futile ways inherited from your forefathers. So, look for those things, the traditions that have been handed down that are not fitting with being a godly follower of the Lord. And then there’s this one and watch out for this one, but there’s a place for it. Proverbs 13:24, “Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.”
And of course, Hebrews chapters chapter 12 especially talks about this, how the correction that we provide as fathers for our children is actually a form of love. And it needs to be consistent, it needs to be fair, and all of that, but we are responsible for correcting our children. So, to review where we’ve gotten so far, the father is to lead the household, he’s to provide for the household, he’s to teach the household, and he’s to correct the household, all of these things.
Looking back on your experience either as a child of a father or a father yourself, are there any wounds there? Are there any wounds that are still there? Wounds can occur when a father is ungodly. Fathers sometimes can have different objects of worship than our heavenly Father. They can be devoted to idols like gambling and drink and even womanizing and being selfish. And those kinds of actions, selfish actions, ungodly actions can produce wounds in families, wounds among children.
Wounds can occur when a father’s careless. When he’s there, but not really there. When he’s not really listening, not really engaging with the family. When he’s liable to say something flippant that hurts instead of something that edifies and instructs. Wounds can occur when father is careless. Wounds can Wounds can occur when a father is mean. And just, you know, a father in the family has a position to be mean, has the power, but not the authority to be mean.
As we’ve talked about before, he can consistently provoke his children to anger and do it because he kind of likes doing that. And that’ll leave a scar, for sure for certain, in the children. Wounds can occur when the father’s just somewhere else. And there are times when there’s a noble purpose that’s called father away. And there are times when he’s just run away. There are times when he actually is taken from this world and he’s just not there because of that.
All these can lead to wounds. And what about wounds that never get around to getting fixed? Wounds that remain. Wounds can remain when a father refuses, just refuses to lead in a spiritual way, refuses to heal the wounds that have been created in his leadership. When a father is unable to lead, sometimes stricken by a disease or some sort of other malady that keeps him from being able to serve in the right way. And then ultimately, when death separates, that kind of is the last uh chance for a wound to be healed by that father when he’s passed on the other side.
And what do you do when the wounds remain because of those different situations? Well, I’ll give this bit to you and then let the lesson be yours. You have despite all the potential problems of your earthly father, our earthly fathers, we have a perfect heavenly father. Matthew chapter 5 and verse 48. This is in the course of Jesus sermon on the mount. We’ve talked about this already. You therefore must be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect.
And it’s implied again at the latter part of the sermon on the mount in Matthew chapter 7. We’re not there yet in our study, but if you then who are evil know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to the to those who ask him? I think that implies what is stated later in the epistles, every good and perfect good gift comes down from the Father above. He is the giver of good and perfect gifts.
He is our perfect Father. If your earthly father lets you down, and fathers will, look to your heavenly Father and remember you have a perfect Father there. And remember that our heavenly Father invites us to learn from him. Psalm 25 verses 8 and 9, good and upright is the Lord. Therefore, he instructs sinners in the way. He leads the humble in what is right and teaches the humble his way. Let us be humble. Let us learn from the Father who’s inviting us to learn from him.
And that is such an important thing. And fathers, if we’re learning from our heavenly Father, we’re getting close to perfection. We’re getting close to what our heavenly Father would have us to do. And the last part of this, and maybe the most important part, if there are wounds and wounds that persist because of a father and that has that has let us down or somehow wounded us, remember our perfect heavenly Father is the one who heals all of those wounds.
Psalm 147 verses 2 and 3, as we read this morning, the Lord builds up Jerusalem. He gathers the outcasts of Israel. He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Psalm 34 verse 18, “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” And there’s another passage that goes along with this healing powerful in 2 Corinthians chapter 1 verses 3 and 4. “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”
And you know what that is? That’s kind of like a comfort cycle. If you think about it, the God of all comfort comforts us. And we get that real comfort. And then we become comforters to those who are not in that right relationship, hopefully leading them to the right relationship, and they get on the cycle. And around you go. And so we are stewards, really, dispensers, if you will, of the comfort that God gives. And we can seek profound comfort through him.
We’ve gone through this pretty quickly this morning. I know you can beat the Baptist to the steakhouse today cuz I’m going to be done pretty soon here. But if if we’ve touched a nerve here, if we’ve hit on anything that needs more attention, we’d be glad to talk about that this week coming up. But seek the healing that comes from your perfect Father in heaven. If there’s any lingering wound from a father here. You listened well and I appreciate that.
You always do. A father’s mandate as given by our heavenly Father. There’s an invitation song and Jesus truly is tenderly calling. We’re going to sing verses 1, 2, and 4. And I wonder if today’s the day to respond publicly to this invitation that we always offer. We offer it routinely. We offer it sometimes casually. But don’t let it ever become a routine or a casual thing. This is an opportunity to come to the Lord for the first time or to come back to him for the Well, we don’t count.
It’s not polite to count that one. But Jesus is tenderly calling and if you’re subject to the call, come while we stand and while we sing.
